Ryan on the Runway: PR 21 eps 1 & 2

EPISODE ONE

This season of Project Runway is dedicated to my dear friend Francesca for sharing her Hulu subscription with me. Freeform doesn't have a channel in New Yawk so Hulu was my one and only available option. Grazie mille, Franceschina!

The preview of the full season was enticing as ever. Of course I was thrilled to see Heidi back but I hope she will forgive me if I say I'm even more grateful to have Nina Garcia back in my life. She is supreme.

It makes me smile how they start the designer intros with High Sass. Joseph McRae, love his attitude love his style. Ethan, lanky and skanky! I mean that in the best possible way. Hilarious that their first speaking-to-the-camera shot of him had it framed badly because he's so tall. Very clever. Do they give an Emmy for Most Cheeky Use of Camera Framing in a Reality or Competition Series?

Veejay. Poor thing, getting stuck on Joseph McRae's name. I have a feeling that's going to be a recurring motif this season, and not just with her. Pre-emptive heavy sigh. She and Madeline had almost no camera time, which seems to send a signal. Maybe they'll get more in the episode but I've got my eye on them.

Jesus, a repeat offender! He was on Season 7, yeesh 15 years ago. Joan and Yuchen, also mere blips ln the radar. Caycee, another repeat offender , from season 19! It cracks me up that she said, "Being eliminated on the first episode, I didn't get to show who I was." Yeah, because your outfit was HID-JISS! I'm just sayin'. BTW two repeat offenders in one season seems excessive. Have they officially depleted the pool of available, talented, and/or telegenic designers?

More blips: Angela, Belania, and Alex. What is this.

Antonio - - wait a minute, twin brother of Jesus. The PR producers clearly know their audience, putting a cute young pair of Latino identical twins on the show.

Heidi looking good! She really nails the tone as host, she always has, she's engaging and entertaining but still somehow skirts around being phony baloney. Maybe she's cheese and macaroni. A concept I just invented. May I make two uncharitable observations? Her makeup was so heavy it appeared she was wearing a Heidi Klum mask. Available at Ricky's on 51st and 8th. And of course she's wearing evening in the daytime. So on brand.

Christian, also looking good! Did you see those chunky soled shoes on him? Very smart, edgy, youthful, good choice. Plus I imagine they give him an extra two to three inches in height. I anticipate at some point they'll have him standing next to Ethan for a tall and short visual joke, like Kristin Chenoweth interviewing Adele on the Oscars red carpet a few years ago. Did you see that? Memorable.

The Challenge: Christian says that if you ask a designer about the source of their first fashion inspiration their answer would be...I thought he'd say the red carpet. Or a stylish aunt or similar. But what did he say? A Disney princess? And a Disney villain? The designers are split into two teams - - one will create a cohesive collection of Disney princesses, the other of Disney villains.

Can we talk about word choice? I would used the term "villainess" rather than "villain," since we're talking about females. But maybe the current style is to use gender neutral nomenclature but I like the Glenn Close point of view: she uses the word "actress" rather than "actor" in honor of the actresses who came before her. She said (I'm paraphrasing, as per yoozh) that Bette Davis called herself an actress - - did that lessen her talent or her impact? Do I hear a HELL NO.

For the record, between pausing the show to (a) write my column, (b) check on my lemon blueberry pound cake, and (c) deal with my laundry, it's taken me over an hour to get through eight minutes of the show. At this rate I'll be here until Passover. Off topic, yes Miss Thing, I have a washer and dryer in the unit in the new apartment - - an Emmy for THAT, please.

Madeline, totally adorkable! And seems like nobody's fool, she is quick with the sardonic delivery. #sardonicdelivery Ditto Joan - - clear a path for her, she is not having it. I have my eye on her, she seems like she'll bring some grown up energy to this toddler-adjacent enterprise.

Our first trip to Mood. Can we have a moment of silence for the dear departed Swatch. He died in 2022 at the ripe old age of 15.5. Love that pooch!

I feel a little bad for Jesus but then I deal with this every freaking season: have these people never watched the show? Does he not realize that the self-appointed leader of a team challenge will invariably be the one thrown under the bus? With reason, most of the time.

Caycee cracked me up in her talk-to-the-camera moment. "In season 19 I had a lot of ideas..." Um honey, you were on ONE EPISODE. It would be more accurate to say, "In my solitary episode of season 19, I had a lot of ideas." Cue Heart singing "Tell It Like It Is." Which I prefer to the Aaron Neville original. Which is my right.

Veejay is a former beauty queen, bless her heart! She proved herself by doing a beauty queen wave to the camera. Looked legit to me. On a side note, may I predict that at some point one of the designers will refer to her as Veejay Vuh Jay Jay? You read it here first.

Did you notice the anonymous producer making a tinny overhead announcement, "Designers, end of Day One!" They used to give this task to one of the designers. The overhead announcement felt very Squid Game to me. Not in a good way.

Ah yes, our first bit of manufactured drama. Veejay had words with Jesus about him using "her" machine. Again, has she not seen the show? This happens constantly and is not a good use of your time. If Jesus had broken the machine and then walked away from it (like someone did with the shared printer at Tiffany the other day, not a pretty moment), then we could talk. But in episode one and what was clearly an incident based in a false feeling of ownership, then no ma'am. I call it manufactured drama because they amp this up in an effort to make it seem worthy of inclusion. It was not. It was a throwaway moment, hardly like Judith Light's seismic courtroom scene on *One Life To Live,* 1979.

A few highlights from Christian's check-ins. Antonio feels like he doesn't need critiques, he knows what he's doing and doesn't need guidance or advice. We'll see how that pans out! Also Ethan informed Christian that Veejay was their team <bleep.> Let me ask you: would Tim Gunn have tolerated such disclosure? I imagine he would have said something along the lines of, "Be that as it may, you have a dress to make, she has a dress to make, and it all needs to come together in a cohesive collection. Focus on the work, rise above the petty drama." Especially since Veejay more or less appears to be staying in her lane and minding her own bizniss!

Runway Day and oh what a treat, the show was at the United Palace Theater, mere steps from my apartment! True, I haven't been there yet but I saw it on the Tonys and I have every intention of finding a show to attend. Can you imagine the joy of going to a show and having a two-minute walk home...?

Wait a minute, did I miss the model fittings in the workroom? I guess they didn't include that.

Welcome to Miss Nina Garcia and guest judge Law Roach, extraordinary stylist, image architect, and subject of a somewhat recent New Yorker profile.

Here goes:

HOUSE OF VILLAIN

Yuchen: well done.

Angelo: maybe a little underpowered but we know that there will be many looks much worse. The slithery train was a smart idea.

Alex: looks a little like a prom dress.

Veejay: super fashion-y as oppopsed to costume-y, a good expression of the challenge.

Jesus: good impact but I thought the coat was a little heavy. Looked great on his curvy model and expert boob masking.

Ethan: perfect choice for the finale.

HOUSE OF PRINCESS

Joseph McRae: what in the name of Aurora does that have to do with a Disney princess?

Madeline: the judges admired the construction but again, no Disney princess vibe for this viewer.

Belania: rather unresolved.

Antonio: I think it's good. Sort of.

Caycee: pretty good.

Joan: gorgeous but a smidge mumsy.

The top three were Ethan, Yuchen, and Jesus. I would have given the third spot to Veejay but I'm not going to complain. Maybe they're setting up some drama for the two of them for an upcoming episode.

Heidi said she'd wear Yuchen's look, which is of course the ultimate PR stamp of approval. Law Roach called it "very commercial," which in my book is an even higher compliment! Thank you, Nina, for using the word "ruching." I don't hear it often enough. She also said that if it were done in pink it would be a princess dress! Yuchen did a pivot and said that made him versatile. Um, why not.

Nina said that Ethan's model didn't just convey a look, she delivered a FEELING. High praise. Law Roach was impressed and Heidi (surprise surprise) said she's wear it. On a side note, didn't his model (Rebecca) look quite a lot like cover girl Lydia Hearst, daughter of Patty "Tania" Hearst...?

The judges responded to Jesus using a color. Law hated the whole look but the coat in particular. Oh wow, he said she looked like a "Nigerian auntie." He thought the boob handling was a misfire. Jesus was rattled by the judging, even though he was in the top three, and he took it out on Yuchen in the green room. Jesus is gonna be trouble, he has no filter. I wonder if his brother will intervene now and then or talk him off the ledge.

As expected, Ethan was the winner. Totally deserving.

The bottom three were Joseph McRae, Antonio, and Caycee. I'm sure Caycee was quaking in her boots, horrified that she would be sent home once again on the first challenge. Heidi announced the bottom three and Antonio said, "Am I being punk'd?" HILARIOUS. i think this might have been a PR first.

Nina felt like Joseph McRae's outfit was confused. Law Roach liked it and thought some of his clients would wear it. Though he did say the back looked like a couch cushion (which was not the challenge).

Oh whoa, Antonio threw CHRISTIAN under the bus! The judges asked to see the dress under the loofah coat and they liked it better. Law Roach tried to counsel him on how to accept criticism and Antonio's response was "maybe it's my Latina side," which got an eyeroll from Nina Garcia. Don't go there, hermana.

Nina loved Caycee's jacquard fabric but thought the outfit was not good. Heidi thought it looked like a nightgown. Thank you, Caycee, for your response to the criticism. Two words: "Thank you."

They gave us a cliffhanger of not announcing the auf. But whew, thankfully they went straight to the second episode.

EPISODE TWO

Sometimes the delusion makes me sad. Antonio started the episode saying, "My brother and i were supposed to be going to the end together. I can't be going home." Clearly the two of them came up with that story line without consulting the producers.

Oh Lord I can't even imagine the degradation that Caycee must have felt, being eliminated on the first challenge for a SECOND TIME. I was Emmy-happy in my previous post. I think she should get an Emmy for Best Sacrificial Lamb.

Christian gave an enticing tidbit about the next challenge. The designers will stay in Houses (aka teams) but Ethan, as winner of the previous challenge, will have the opportunity to swap a designer on his team for another designer. I hate that kind of grade school, choosing teams for kickball situation, it's triggering for me. But I'm taking my own medicine and accepting that it's something that happens to the show all the time and I should not be surprised.

The designers were given a goody bag of activewear and met up in the workroom to do some yoga poses. OK, one yoga pose. Christina asked Ethan if he wanted to do a swap and he swapped Jesus for Madeline. He told Jesus and Antonio that he was ready for them to show their alleged invincibility as a duo. Bring it on.

The challenge: each team needs to create a cohesive activewear capsule collection that goes from workout to weekend. Christian brought out VP and head designer of activewear brand Calia, Alycia Scott. She said their brand juxtaposes fashion, femininity, and function. Fascinating fun fact! Christian said that the runway would have actual fire on it.

Some of the designers talked about their aesthetic:

Alex: grew up in the South with a Japanese grandmother who was a professional tailor.

Antonio: a mixture of streetwear and elegance. His life is inspired by his adorable daughter Ava. Aw.

Madeline: she takes vintage and puts her own spin on it.

Ethan: we didn't hear much about his design process, more about his experience growing up on a farm and bringing his family to a place of acceptance.

Belania: she referred to herself as a technical designer. I'm not sure I know what that means.

The model fittings led to loads of big ugly. I am frightened to see the runway show.

Heidi started the runway festivities, wearing a jacket that had a lot of gazanga action. Hey, that's a choice. Law Roach was back so I guess maybe he's a semi-permanent judge for this season? I'm into that, he's got strong opinions and isn't reluctant to share them. The guest judge was Sara Foster, co-founder of Favorite Daughter. Never heard of it or her but don't be surprised by that, I know very little.

HOUSE OF BURN

Angelo: I think it's OK!

Yuchen: super sporty but is the skirt too short?

Alex: she said it herself - - "It coulda been worse, it coulda been better."

Madeline: harmless.

Veejay: super interesting but is it functional?

Ethan: wow wow, that is super sharp.

HOUSE OF LOTUS

Antonio: a little too Bob Mackie For Cher.

Belania: hot mess.

Joan: nice bit of drama but is it good?

Joseph McRae: major attitude but again, is it good?

Jesus: that looks good, I'm surprised.

House of Lotus was the winning team. It was cohesive and even the worst wasn't that bad. House of Burn was all over the map and had more failures.

The judges were into Joseph McRae's outfit, they thought it fulfilled the challenge. I was surprised to see Belania in the top three, I didn't like the outfit at all. Jesus's outfit was a win with the judges. Nina loved all the details. Jesus was the winner. Which is ironic because Heidi told his brother Antonio that his look was the worst. Ouch.

Sara Foster had good things to say about Veejay's outfit but Heidi thought it was so not activewear. Nina saw it as a cocktail dress.

Nina thought Angelo's outfit lacked drama. Law Roach thought it was well made but had no showmanship.

Alex explained her kimono inspiration. Law Roach said that the corset was a super bad idea - - he said, "You cannot piss on me and tell me it's rainin.' " PR quote for the ages!

Lots of tears in the workroom. And the cliffhanger auf is reserved for next week! Maybe they'll do that each week?