Ryan on the Runway: PR 22 ep 1

How can it be season 22 of Project Runway? I've seen ever damn episode of this show. Are we going to get into the 40s before I lie down for my dirt nap...? Is that a wish or a threat?

First off I want to thank our corporate sponsor, my friend Francesca. I watch PR on Hulu and Francesca shares her Hulu subscription with me. Legitimately, of course.

Um hello - - new guest judge Tyra Banks! TYRA MAIL! That puts fuel in my tank.

Naturally the first episode has to start with Heidi dressed for evening in broad daylight. The boobs are standing at attention and what were those objects emanating from her wrists. I don't need to understand this, I just need to accept it. One other note about Heidi: I'm going to be watching the ending credits carefully to see if they give credit to her yodel coach.

Joseph McRae, naturally he's back, he was too extra for just one season. His leopard outfit is giving me both Eartha Kitt and Norma Desmond. With a side dish of M C Hammer. And why not.

The challenge: the designers were told to bring a look with them, something that represents them as a designer. No budget limitations, no time restraints, no restrictions of any kind. They'll choose six winners and those people will all have immunity in the next episode. And yikes, they're also going to eliminate six designers!

I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy Russian designer Bobby aka Varvara. Cold as Stoli on ice, pass me a glass! Hm, two RuPaul's Drag Race season 16 alums, that's notable. I'm sure there's gonna be some salty bizniss happening there.

Another built-in rivalry: Bi used to work for Bryan. Yes, you're seeing me roll my little eyes over the drama created before the cameras roll. But I suppose that's what happens in *Elektra,* right? The drama is roiling when the curtain first goes up because of everything that happened before. I feel better now that I talked about *Elektra.*

I like that Anna is an army brat and uses unconventional materials but I don't understand why anyone would have two moldy shower curtains. One maybe, but two?

Is Dani our first PR flight attendant? Also the last? The first quote of the season goes to Jeffrey: "I've competed in 30 pageants and I've probably won 28 of them." Probably? Aren't there records?

I noticed that three or four designers have had under ten seconds of screen time. Methinks they might be on the chopping block. Nice to meet you, collect your Rice-a-Roni at the door. After 21 seasons I feel confident in my ability to read the tea leaves based on the editing.

The runway show happened with the judges at the runway and the designers in the showroom. Why. I was hoping the show would be at the Oculus, the iconic Manhattan venue where they opened the episode. But as my friend Mick would say, you can't always get what you want.

The judges: CFDA winning stylist and image architect Law Roach, Editor-in-Chief of Elle magazine Nina Garcia, and supermodel and entrepreneur Tyra Banks. Do we address her as Supermodel Tyra Banks in the same sense as we address that guy as President Bill Clinton?

Andriy: it seems balanced to me. Sparkly yet strong.

Bobby: love it, could totally be dumbed down for Forever 21.

Bao: no impact, not badly made but not exactly well made.

Yangy: fascinating, it says a lot to me that the judges were looking at it trying to figure it out.

Joseph: thank you for losing the wacky hair. I feel like the bag is a bridge too far.

Chloe: drab, looks like it was made in an hour and a half. But Law liked it!

Andrea: really doesn't work - - this is the best she has?

Naheim: a man! Love the jumpsuit.

LRÉ the Artist: not special, not finished.

Bobby: the sneer from Nina was not inspiring! But it's an improvement over what he showed Christian.

Octavius: another man! Sharp outfit, very red carpet. Nina's quote: "I don't know. It's OK? It's not terrible?" I laughed out loud at that.

Aaron: I loved it, I thought it was super cool.

Jeffrey: Aaron's look was understated, this was way too overstated. Though of course Heidi liked it.

Jude: super cool tailoring, lots of attitude, impeccably made.

Bi: thank you Christian for telling him to ditch the dress. The coat was so strong.

Dani: really hate it.

Plane Jane: it's totally what it is and either you're going to respond to it or you're not. I feel like it would have been more successful without the spikes coming out of the boobies. Well fitted, though - - junk in the trunk!

Jennifer: snooze-a-palooza.

R'Bonney: kinda cool. I would have liked it better if had been shorts rather than a micro mini.

Elizabeth: lovely. Law described it as "commercial." Hard to tell if he means that as a compliment.

Anna: again, I like that Law leaned forward to look at it.

Bryan: the shape is so unusual, I respond to that.

Can we agree that 22 designers is too many?

The six winners were:

Bryan: Tyra said it was a marshmallow she wanted to devour. Heidi said it was a strong first impression.

Bobby: Nina said it was stunning, Law said it was sensational but she overaccessorized it.

Elizabeth: Heidi loved the crinkle of the fabric and the uneven hem. Law thought it would have been stronger without the strap across the lower back. I can see that.

Chloe: I'm surprised that they liked this so much, I was not impressed.

Jude: Nina loved the white collar, I didn't even notice that! But yes, it was the perfect counterpart to the suit. And thank you for doing it in grey rather than black. If we had a Hitchcock Blonde challenge, this would be the winner.

Andriy: Nina had all kinds of good things to say about the details and the proportions.

They called eight of the remaining designers to the runway. Six of them were being sent home.

Jennifer: Nina was neither surprised nor inspired. She was sent home. Harsh that they did this right out of the gate without talking to any of the other designers.

Andrea: Nina said it didn't meet the standards of what they're looking for. She was sent home.

LRÉ: the judges liked what she was wearing more than what her model was wearing. Nina said, "If this was your best look, I don't really want to see the rest." She was sent home. Honestly I'm relieved to not have to use the <<accent aigu>> for the rest of the season.

Dani: I have to quote Heidi in full: "I'm getting so many different vibes when I see this dress. It's giving me 80s prom dress wanting to go to Bridgerton and ended up at the renaissance fair." She was kept. I don't understand why!

The drama was amped up because that left us with four designers, only one of whom was being kept. They talked about all of them.

R'Bonney: Tyra said it was good but it needed to be great.

Plane Jane: Law said it wasn't fashion, it was "a spiky cooch."

Robby: Nina didn't love the choice of fabric or proportions. Once again they loved what he was wearing and hated on the look that he chose to show them.

Jeffrey: Law said, "I actually...hated the look. I couldn't see the point of view of the person who made this. I couldn't see the woman who would wear this." Tyra defended him by saying that it's easier to pull pack than to push forward.

Of course they ended the episode without making an elimination.