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Ryan on the Runway: PR16, ep 1


A momentous day: my first Project Runway column that originates on my very own website! One of those Big Girl Panties moments, I'm having a lot of those this summer with my website.

I loved the montage of highlights of the season, especially the way Tim ended it: "Unprofessional, unseemly, atrocious!" To paraphrase a line from Woody Allen's *Deconstructing Harry,* he could run for public office in France on that slogan, and win.

The guest judges, I don't feel like I've heard of a third of them. I am so out of touch, such a square.

A few early impressions of the designers: the twins. Do I love them, or are they tap dancing on my last gay nerve? Some of each, I expect. Very impressive that Deyonté joined the show even with his partner having a freaking BABY. I love Amy, I get a serious Laura Bennett vibe from her, and you know how I love Laura Bennett. I have a feeling that Amy will not suffer fools gladly. She'll have a low threshold for cray cray.

Kenya - - love her spirit. Aaron and Chacha - - can the work live up to the surface dazzle? (Looks like I got a partial answer to that question before the end of the episode.)

Bring on the product placements! Grey Goose Espresso Martini cocktails! And erasable pens by Pilot! My dear friend Frank had prepared me about JC Penny and Avon being the purveyors of the accessory wall and makeup room this season, but it was still shocking when I saw it for myself. Richard said, "JC Penny? Really? They're gonna be out of business in 36 minutes."

The first challenge is for them to create a red carpet look that showcases who they are as designers. And they're mixing it up with the models this season - - they don't just have different size models, but a different model every challenge. Both major.

Two more notes about the models, before I move on. I don't like the Model Mirror. It's nice hearing what they have to say, but the mirror setup is creepy. And I love what Liris said to Brandon: "We don't hope, we do!" Stitch it on a pillow!

I loved Tim being completely speechless over Cha Cha's goofylicious outfit - - the highlight of the season so far. Yes, I know it was only minute 29 in the first episode.

A few other funny quotes:

Tim about Michael: "If you want a sense of tackiness, you've GOT IT!"

And Margarita: "I'm just questioning my entire life right now."

Love the control booth and backstage footage, I hope we have more of that.

ON THE TOP

Kenya's gown was lovely. The judges were right on when they said it was impressively made for only $300 and one day.

I was puzzled that Brandon made it to the top three with that outfit. This is what Nene Leakes would say on Fashion Police: "That's for the red carpet? That's what I wear to the Whole Foods." I can see the judges' point, that he did right by the model's body, and caught a unique and sporty vibe. But I didn't buy it.

Deyonté completely deserved the win. Gorgeous dress, extraordinary use of the fabric, perfect execution of the challenge. He's one to watch.

IN THE MIDDLE

Michael's fuzzy black outfit prompted this comment from Richard: "It's LIZA!" And got a strong whiff of Grace Jones from Anaya's outfit. We all need to lay flowers at the altar of Miss Jones.

Aaron was lucky to not be on the bottom - - his concept of the tux shirt on the bottom and the pants on the top, it didn't translate at all, it just looked like a goofy top and a goofy bottom. I thought Margarita's gown was dreamy, I would have put her in the top instead of Brandon. Though I imagine the judges thought they'd seen that kind of chiffon drama a million times.

BOTTOM

Batani's dress was a mess, and that gap in the ass crack was horrid. This why the judges go all hands on, right?

Shawn. Nina, quoting Carolina Herrera: "You cannot be best dressed and not be wearing any clothes." Love the judges' idea that it would have been in the top three if she had done a normal skirt. The silver shorts were just not right.

Chacha. Going back in his clown car? Or out to pasture, with His Little Pony?


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